drivin' my truck with my high heels on......

Again, again!

2005-11-20T16:13:38Z

I've decided to actually start using my lj more often, and start brushing up on my HTML skills before next semester's web design and desktop publication class.

I'm so mixed about my feelings. I would really like it to go somewhere, but I am so scared that it will get dull like it did with Dan. Even though that was after about a year and a half, that's honestly the only memories I have of that relationship. It was all out of habit. Which is really sad. I want something new and exciting. Not the same old same old. And he lives so far....I have no idea how it owuld work out. Do I really want a boyfriend? I am really lost. And what is Dan going to think when/if he finds out. Wait... I take that back. If he doesn't care enough to wish me a happy 18th birthday, he probably won't care if I have someone new in my life. As sad and malicious and silly as this sounds, I would really laugh if he got some new chick and she wasn't half as awesome as I was. I don't mean to cocky, but I think I was a pretty damn good girlrfiend. But hey, that's only my opinion.

The realtor, Marie Gordon (the same one we had for our old house) is coming over to take pictures today. I thought we were having an open house, but I guess not. Either way, I don't care. It's really happening. No more talk of it. We're really selling this beauty. And still no word on what happens AFTER we sell the house - hello? Where are we moving to? This suspense is really killing me. It's really not fair. At all. I don't care if I'm being selfish or whatever, I hate being lied to and expecially of something as big as a divorce. Yea.

On a brighter note... I have work again today. The excitement hasn't worn off yet, so I'm enjoying it. But it's becoming a pain to decide what to wear. I feel like I'm being teased all day there because I get to look at all these cool clothes and create an infinite amount of combinations of cute outfits, and not ave any money to do anything about it. GR! I hope I get a nice big fat paycheck today. Or soon. At least before wednesday.

And I don't think some of my co-workers like me too much. Maybe it's bc I have no idea how to do anything

Yearbok deadline tomorrow. I'm really nervous that we're forgetting something and Susan the whale is going to have a fit, or we're gonna mess everything up. Damn Heff. Why can't she act like a moderator, or at least find us one?? Me and Allyson are feding all for ourself, thank God she has everything under control, because I don't sure as hell don't feel like it.

Oh lord.....

2005-11-13T04:06:46Z

Yes. It is me. Finally. I have alot of emotion I need to get rid of, and since I have nothing better to do on a saturday night, this is the time and the place. I was going to make a blog on MySpace but I don't think I want the whole world reading it. I don't think anyone EVER looks at livejournals anymore, letalone mine, so I think I'm pretty safe.

OK...here goes.

This was awhile ago, but me and Dan broke up (Sept. 26, 2005 - not that Im keeping track, haha)It really sucked in the beginning, but now I'm totally fine with it. Colleen misses me, and its funny. She still calls sometimes, and I went over the other day to see the puppies they've acquired (VERY CUTE!!!). But it was definitely time for a change/break (up). 2 years was way too long. Don't get me wrong, it was great while it lasted, but the summer was really rough, and him going to college this year didn't make it any easier. He was SO busy ALL THE TIME....it just felt like we were going through the motions. Besides - I'm enjoying being single. No more long relationships. I have no friends now, and I'm back to square one. I wish someone would have slapped me across the face and told me not to spend every living minute I could with him. I felt like I had to bc we lived so far and didn't go to the same school. But I didn't have to be like that. Oh well. Live and Learn. I'm certaintly learning at least.....

Talking about boys....
Cliff is an ass. But I already knew that. I just needed to find out for myself. And I did. And now I know, so everything is okay.

And there's this other guy. But I don't think I'm going to write much about him - I don't want to jinx anything. I don't even know how I feel about it....so I'm just going to pretend that it's a cool friend. And nothing more.

Yea....so I'm moving again. Away from my gorgeous, beautiful, awesome house.
I'm not even going to go into it because I really don't feel like typing all my anger and frustration. It gets me really riled up. I just know that my life is going to change drastically soon, and I don't want to deal with it. But it's absolutely inevitable. I just need to be prepared - however that is, I have no idea.
I don't want to tell people, btu at the same time I want to broadcast it all over CNN (Carroll News Now - yuk yuk yuk haha).

I think I'm gonna start writing in this again. It's my senior year and I kinda want some documentation. We'll have to see how that goes...

Maybe I'll write more later.
OK - I WILL write more later!!!

kthanksbye

ughghgh

2004-11-28T02:33:06Z

This is a survey from my boyfriend's journal...aww, soo cute. Underneath, is mine. And then the ranting begins.

Ten Random Things About Libbi's Boyfriend
10.Although I don't do it, I never saw why wearing underwear two days in a row is so gross.
9.I'm vain when I'm alone, but really modest around others.
8.I'm shy as balls around girls.
7.I think I liked being hardcore more when no one knew I was hardcore.
6.I think I'm becoming hardcore (you know, music-wise.)
5.I wish I was more outgoing.
4.I make myself REALLY angry just imagining getting into fights with certain people...
3.I just farted.
2.I get angry/jealous pretty quickly when it comes to Libbi and other guys (not all other guys, mostly guys I don't know), but I don't say anything because I know it's just me being...me.
1.I was saving something for the #1 spot, but now I forget

Nine Places I've Visited
9.Atlanta
8.Buffalo
7.San Diego
6.Detroit
5.Orlando
4.Quebec
3.Ontario
2.France
1.Spain

Eight Things I Want To Do before I Die
8.Skydive.
7.Win on the international level of rowing.
6.Beat Pokemon without cheating.
5.Own a single
4.Tell Cerrone all of the Kairos secrets.
3.Win whatever trophy you get for winning the V quad at Stotes.
2.Be rich.
1.Have a wife.

Seven Ways to Win My Heart
7.Live in West Chester.
6.Have a sister.
5.Drive a station wagon.
4.Fart in front of me.
3.Run cross country and track.
2.Be 3 days older than Sean yet a grade behind him.
1.Be Libbi. (Awwwwwwwwwwww...sorry guys, I couldn't help it)

Six Things I Believe In
6.Catholicism.
5.Not karma.
4.Eating other animals.
3.That Whitman stole the awesome trophy from me.*
2.Being softcore when necessary.
1.Ignorance is bliss.

Five Things I'm Afraid Of
5.Not getting into Penn.
4.Opposing traffic when I'm driving on Kelly Drive.
3.Becoming an uber-slacker in college
2.Coach Kev.
1.Ergs.

Four Of My Favorite Items in My Room
4.My posters.
3.The oar hung up on my wall.
2.My medals.
1.All the stuff Libbi's given me.

Three Things I do Everyday
3.Mastur...um, sleep...
2.Eat.
1.Think about Libbi.

Two Things I'm Trying Not To Do Right Now
2.Seem too softcore (but I'm not doing too well).
1.Watch TV.

One Person I Want To See Right Now
1.Hahahaha...Libbi (so much for not seeming softcore).

Ok, now for mine...

Ten Random Things About Me (Libbi)
10. I have acne on my ass. (hey, I'm being honest!)
9. I'm listening to fart sounds from my other computer (Cooie's playing them.)
8. I love shopping with my friend Meghan
7. I love cross country more than anything.
6. I haven't yet been late to school this year.
5. I think my boyfriend is the greatest ever. (Really!)
4. I hate time.
5. My feet smell.
4. I like the way my feet smell.
3. I think that "The Time Warp" should be be played at every dace and mixer.
2. I love taking showers.
1. I have never been outside the country.

Nine Places I've Visited
9. Raliegh, NC
8. NYC
7. Indianapolis, IN
6. Philadelphia, PA
5. Lake Erie
4. Disneyworld
3. Hilton Head Island, SC
2. Lincoln Caverns
1. The Appalachian Mountains (in VA)

Eight Things I Want To Do before I Die
8. Skydive.
7. Compete in the olympics.
6. Save someone's life.
5. Be amazing at running.
4. Spend a whole day in Barnes and Noble.
3. Win the lottery
2. Be rich.
1. Have a a good life.

Seven Ways to Win My Heart
7. Be super-nice to me.
6. Shower me with gifts.
5. Make me laugh.
4. Smother me with hugs and kisses.
3. Snuggle with me...ALOT.
2. Not get angry with me when I call at all hours of the night to cancel plans we had.
1. Be my best friend and more.

Six Things I Believe In
6. God
5. What goes around, comes around.
4. We are all meant to do something great in life, and it is our job to do find it out and do it, no matter how small it may seem to someone else.
3. Fortune cookies tell the truth.
2. Love conquers all.
1. Ignorance is bliss.

Five Things I'm Afraid Of
5. Not getting into a good college.
4. Not being able to run.
3. Dying (or drowning) or someone I love dying, or my dog, for that matter.
2. The crazy people in the world bc I think they're starting to outnumber the sane ones.
1. My house burning down, and losing everything we have.

Four Of My Favorite Items in My Room
4. My makeup.
3. My pictures.
2. My messiness.
1. All the stuff that has sentimental value to me.

Three Things I do Everyday
3. Smile.
2. Eat.
1. Think about Dan.
0. Run (almost everyday)

Two Things I'm Trying Not To Do Right Now
2. Be angry at someone for not being able to talk to me on the phone. (No, dan, it's not you.)
1. Be a wuss about my hip.

One Person I Want To See Right Now
1.Danny Lee

OK, don't feel like ranting....I'll do that later.

BoO.

poetry

2004-11-25T17:55:54Z

I'm not a big fan of it, to me, poetry MUST rhyme and have a beat to it, or else it is not a poem. But I love beautiful writing. I found this on someone's icon:

sing me something
soft sad & delicate
or loud & out of key
xx sing me anything

So pretty.

Happy Thanksgiving to anyone who reads this. Cherish these happy moments.

If you want to read some beautiful writing, check out this lj --> softerxsoftest (sry, I don't remember how to make links.) My HTML skills have gone down the tubes.

Wow. It's windy out.

i'm not okay...

2004-11-25T05:25:20Z

So this is what I get. I know I haven't updated in 69753862 years, but better late than never. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. With 2 less people than last year. Man, it really sucks being able to say that by the time I turned 17, I had no grandparents. Not one. That really makes me angry. Because, now that I have none, I have alot more appreciation for them. When old people come into my work, I wonder.."Do they have grandkids? Do they see them often?" And then my mind wanders from there. If anyone reads this, I beg you...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get to know your old folks...because once they're gone - you'll be wanting to commit suicide just to be able to see them again and talk to them one last time. Thats what I want more than ever. To see my grandmom and granddad one more time. I wanna talk to them...tell them about my boyfriend, and how school's going and that I got my license...and to thank them for the car.God, I miss them so much. Okay...next subject bc I'm already a mess and I haven't gotten to everything I want to rant and vent about.

Referring to the first sentence of this post, my life sucks now. I wish someone would have slapped me back to reality before I got so far into shit all I'm finding is pieces of corn, and no way out. I always told myself I wouldn't hang out with my bf 24/7. But I feel terrible not being able to see him during the week, so I want to see him as much as I can, when I can. Therefore, neglecting the few friends that I had. And my failure of a party sure showed that. I feel like I have about .45279 of a friend right now. Everyone had a sorry-ass excuse on friday...I couldn't believe it. So from now on when I don't feel like going to something with someone or a group of people, I'll just tell them I don't have a ride - because that's what everone told me. Which some people I don't believe. I bust my ass to drive all over creation just so I can see them, and even when I didn't have my license, I got places - why can't they? I feel like my friendship and company means nothing. Which it probably does to some people. Well, good riddens to them, becuase if they really were sorry about not coming, or ebing able to come, they would have expressed it in some way - a present, a card, even a simple phone call would ahve made me happy. But no. The majority of people jsut don't care. So now I know where I stand.

Is my life all track and Dan? That's what it feels like, and it's all my fault.

On a sortof brighter note, if my hip isn't feeling 90 years old, I can run a kick-ass mile on friday. I NEED to. I HAVE to. It's NON-NEGOTIABLE. All last year I ran shit miles during indoor, and I will not let it happen again. I have it in me to do well...I'm hoping for a sub-5.40. Which will be a start to a long road of running the mile at states. I want to run there so bad. I want to run the 4*800 even worse. Its ridiculous how we can't get our act together. I wish the girls' team were more motivated like the boys. Watching them at our workout yesterday, and just knowing their perspective on the sport, they want it. and they want it BAD. I wish the girls cared. Thats why I want xc to last forever. It is the MOST PUREST sport there is, and there' just no 2 ways about it. I love every aspect of it, and even if I'm not amazing at it, I still cherish each and every race, every emotion that flows through me during those times of pain and fatigue and lactic acid. You might think I'm a suburban soccer-mom crystal meth fan, but I'm not. You won't know what I'm talking about until you are a part of it. Nothing else matters to me except running those 3.1 miles on holy ground. The more I think about it, the less I like indoor, and expecially outdoor. Because the time outdoor rolls around, I wanna slaughter the whole team. I'm sick of racing on red ovals. I want miles and forests, and purity.

Hmm...this post is coming out to nothing I had expected, but since no one else will talk to me, I'll talk to myself, or moreso, the computer. Or you. But I don't think anyone reads this anymore, so "you" might not pertain to anyone except the people running lj.com, and I think even they don't read each and every journal. All the better. I can shit on people all I want and they'll never know. My little secret.

I hope things start turning for the better.
I feel like I don't even know KC anymore...going to a concert on a Sunday night?!?! Since when was her mom so chill about everything?? I'm guessing the death has her mind preoccupied. And who are all these bands she's mentioning? I need to stop listening to WMGK so much. Or get some cds. Or an iPod (Which is already on the top of my christmas list.) I hate buying cds tho. It's sucha gamble. You never know if they're gonna be good or not, and before you know it, you've wasted alot of money on alot of no-good cds. I'll sing the tune in my head instead.

Well, I think I've ranted enough for now....until next time...

Tout bien, qui finit bien.

Howdy, Gang!

2004-08-15T02:29:11Z

Yea, so I haven't updated in a LONG time.

Here are some highlights of the past few weeks of my life...pretty boring actually.

-My granddad died. He just keeled over and died. Totally bit the dust. My aunt and unlce and 2 cousins came over to find him sitting on the couch....brown. He had been dead for over a week, so he had already started to decompose. Mailbox stuffed with mail from over a week ago. Goddamn. We already had the memorial service(he was cremated), so all's well and done and over with. But I was really upset over it, but then when I was at my cousin's house (see next point) I had a dream that I was at my grandparents' house with my family and I was talking to them and stuff, but no one else seemed to know they were there. I gave them both really big hugs and got to talk to them. I woke up feeling ALOT better. Kinda like closure. I'm cool with everything now.

-Went on a road trip to Lakewood, Ohio (it's right next to Cleveland) to visit my mom's friend Barb from college. It was really good seeing them, although we could only stay one night, so it kinda sucked that it was so short. The youngest son, Andrew, is a couple months older than I, he's really cool.

-Then went to Indianapolis, Indiana to visit my cousins (not the ones who found G-dad dead). It was good to see them, hadn't seem them in awhile, so it was nice. And my aunt bought her first house (she's divorced) I'm so ecxited for them! She was a really good job and stuff too. We went horseback riding (which was AWESOME) and also got to see the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. If any of you are racing fans, the Brickyard 400 was going on the weekend I was there and it was OFF DA HOOK!!! People rented out their front lawns for parking...bazillions of RV's and tents and trailors,...harley's all over the place, and lots of trucks and SUV's. (Nascar fans seem to all own crotch rockets, dodge rams and/or SUVs.) It was crazee.

That's all really...

Oh yea...I'm frustrated bc my mom just informed me that I can't get my car tomorrow. Now that G-dad is dead, I'm gonna get his car...a '98 Hyundai Elantra station wagon. STATION WAGON. And it's black. BOOOOO. I would like to sell it or trade it in for a nicer, better one, but no. It's free car. I know I sound like a spoiled, suburban white girl, but I don't want to be driving around a mom car at 16. > : o !

The reason I can't get it is bc I'm not insured to drive it yet - we have no title on it or anything....GR!

aaw....

2004-07-22T18:11:02Z

footsie - you like to goof around and laugh with
the people you care about.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I don't really think this is me, but whatever.

Yea, so Dan took the same quiz and he's a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead. Sooo him. He makes me so happy... : )

Summer miles make fall smiles....

2004-07-20T23:32:11Z

Unfortunately...'tis true. I've decided to really start sticking to the schedule for XC. Finally went to practice last night and Phil (who will now be referred to as Jesus, bc of the beard/goatee thingy he's growing and the long(er) curlier hair) made the harsh comment "Oh, the so-called captain has finally decided to show up to a practice." OUCH. Goddamn him...I mean...goshdarn him (can't go insulting God's son w/ his own name.)

And then after practice he was saying about how missing miles adds up in a fun little math lesson. Hah. Yea, fun alright. Why does Jesus always have to be right?

Also, damn that girl Amanda who runs a 20.04 5k...NO ONE on our freakin team runs that...not even close! As much as I love running....I can really hate it sometimes.

Dan came over today...it was soo good seeing him. I really missed him. And then he threw me in the pool. And then I locked him outside of the house and Cooie hid his clothes. That was fun. Then we watched the video. THE VIDEO. (I know no one else except Dan is going to know what I'm talking about, but oh well.)

Ran today at Malvern Prep...and saw Jen Gazzerro. She's so nice...she was just running to keep in shape. Good for her.

Oh yea, one more thing. At work yesterday...I wasn't supposed to start until 11, but my mom dropped me off at 8 bc she needed to go to work (I NEED A CAR!!!) and I asked Dom if I should punch in then and he said yea, he needed the help. I am never working another 8 hour shift again. It was SOO LONG!!! I got off at 4. I wanted to cry. Well, moreso sleep.

Later days, amigos....

runslikea_deere @ 2004-07-18T12:55:00

2004-07-18T16:58:04Z

fOol In tHE raIn

Oh, baby
Well there's a light in your eye that keeps shining
Like a star that can't wait for the night
I hate to think I've been blinded baby
Why can't I see you tonight?
And the warmth of your smile starts a-burnin'
And the thrill of your touch gives me fright
And I'm shaking so much, really yearning
Why don't you show up, make it all right?
Yeah, it's all right.
And if you promised you'd love so completely
and you said you would always be true
You swore that you would never leave me, baby:
What ever happened to you?
And you thought it was only in movies
How you wish all your dreams would come true--Hey
It ain't the first time believe me, baby
I'm standin here feeling blue
Yeah I'm blue
Now I will stand in the rain on the corner
I'll watch the people go shuffling downtown
Another ten minutes no longer
And then I'm turning around
The clock on the wall's moving slower
My heart it sinks to the ground
And the storm that I thought would blow over
Clouds the light of the love that I found
Now my body is starting to quiver
And the palms of my hands getting wet
I've got no reason to doubt you baby,
It's all a terrible mess
I'll run in the rain till I'm breathless
When I'm breathless I'll run till I drop, hey
The thoughts of a fool's kind of careless
I'm just a fool waiting on the wrong block, oh yeah
Light of the love that I found...

waiting to go babysit...

2004-07-18T16:47:53Z

Why dan stayed up until the literal crack of dawn, is beyond me. But it was nice having a 6am phone conversation.

TO mEghan, A very dear friend of Mine....

Who are you? LIbbi!
Are we friends? No!
When and how did we meet? good 'ol SPS, 6th Grade
How have I affected you? You have given me a great sense of makeup and Fashion!
What do you think of me? You are SOO super!
What's the fondest memory you have of me? That time I came over when you parents were in London...good times!
How long do you think we will be friends? Hopefully throughout life
Do you love me? Of course!
Do you have a crush on me? Why, Yes I do!
Would you kiss me? In a friendly manner, of course!
Would you hug me? I always hug you!
Physically, what stands out?
Emotionally, what stands out? Your amazing fashion sense
Do you wish I was cooler? Megs, you are the EPITOME of cool!
On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 12.7!!!
Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it: Megs, I guess..bc I'm too lazy to say Meghan
Am I loveable? Hell yea!
How long have you known me? About 6 years now....whoa!?
Describe me in one word: just dah-ling
What was your first impression? I don't remember
Do you still think that way about me now? How the hell should I know?
What do you think my weakness is? Anything with wheat in it
Do you think I'll get married? I hope so, but if not, you'd be a cool single anyway
What makes me happy? The little things in life....::sigh::
What makes me sad? People dying?
What reminds you of me? When I see a shirt or a skirt or something that has your name written all over it
If you could give me anything what would it be? An awesome car
How well do you know me? Really well, I guess, we've been friends for awhile now...
When's the last time you saw me? Last night!
Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? ...not that I can think of...
Do you think I could kill someone? I hope not!
Are you going to put this on your Journal and see what I say about you? I've already done that, as you can see

What Would You Do If...
I cried: try and comfort you
I asked you for help: Help you, duh!
I was becoming suicidal: try and talk to you about it
I killed myself: be devastated
I died from natural causes: Either way you're dead, so I would still be really upset
I said I liked you: tell you to go find someone with a penis between their legs and get them to set you straight again
I kissed you: If it was friendly, I wouldn't care, but passionate...hmmm
I started smoking: Kick your ass - you're too pretty to do something gross like that
I stole something: If it was something wroth stealing, I would congratulate you on getting away with it
I was hospitalized: Visit you and send you flowers
I ran away from home: Go find you!
I got in a fight and you were there: Defend you!

What Do You Think About My...
Personality: It's great - you so funny!
Eyes: Very pretty
Face:Gorgeous!
Hair: Better than mine, damnnit!
Clothes: Excellent taste
Voice: Silly sometimes....but you sound like ya motha
Humor: Very good
Choice of music: Wide, but good taste as well
Mannerisms: Good, I guess?
Family: Always something going on

Would You...
Be my friend: I already am, damnnitBut for future reference, NO
Tell me the truth, no matter what: Yea
Lie to make me feel better: depends on what it was, but probably not
Spread rumors about me: no!
Keep a secret if I told you one: YEa
Loan me some cash: I just did last night for some mentos
Hold my hand: Yea
Take a bullet for me: maybe...
Keep in touch: Yea - we already do
Try and solve my problems:of course!
Love me:Yep
Do me: Lemme think about that one....

summer is in the air....

2004-07-17T18:44:52Z

Soo....BEACH!

Dan told me he was coming at 6.30 monday morning to pick me up...beat the traffic. I completely forgot and then my mpom wok me up at like 7.45 telling me Dan was outside. I was like "Shit! I forgot to get up!" But he wasn't mad. [He's such a good kid!] Got down there pretty quick....his grandfather has a nice modular home. He said that when he purchased it, everything in it [furnishings, decorations, EVERYTHING] was left. It looked like the people who owned it before left to go to the store and never came back. I had my own room, but that only last a night. The next two nights Danny and I slept together [NOT like that, you perverts, actually SLEEPING] and it was awesome. NOTHING is better than sleeping next to the one person you care about most, then waking up in the morning and having a lovely snuggle for 2 hours, then getting up to finally start the day. It was quite lovely. Went to the beach...hung out with Dan [obviously], his little brother John, and Bruce [his slightly homo, and very perverted cousin, quite a riot tho] for most of the time.

Yea son on tuesday night, Bruce and John showered together. That was fun. I took pictures of them in there, with their grandfather's camera....which we decided wasn't the best idea bc 1-Their g-dad will probably have a royal FIT, and 2-if someone at the developign center looks at them, he might it's child pornography. But all in all, it was fun.

I peed on the ground in front of everyone. That was amusing.

Dan said the cutest thing - we were at the lake one night and it was soo pretty - tons of stars out bc there's no light pollution like in the philly or where I live.
I said "Isn't it amazing?"
He says "Not as amazing as when I first saw you."
AWWWWWW!!!! Good lord he swoons me every time.

He's def #1 snugglebunny!

Ok - enough about him - you're all probably getting sick from it anyway.

I'm getting a car soon - WOO!! And it' not going to be POOPY! HA!

Cooie is at the beach - we visited her and the Casey's before we left to go home on thursday - their new trailor is freaking awesome!

I have no one to annoy!

runslikea_deere @ 2004-07-17T14:09:00

2004-07-17T18:31:10Z

Take the quiz: "Your Psych-Ward diagnosis"

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
Diagnosis: (ADHD), formerly called hyperkinesis or minimal brain dysfunction, a chronic, neurologically based syndrome characterized by any or all of three types of behavior: hyperactivity, distractibility, and impulsivity.

AHA! I knew it! I knew I had ADHD!

boo!

2004-07-16T15:45:59Z

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

GREAT... I'm the freakin RETARD of the movie. Although, she is quite loved....

I'll update about the beach in a bit...I'm feeling too lazy to write.

runslikea_deere @ 2004-07-11T15:41:00

2004-07-11T19:43:37Z

The Paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but have less, we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more convieniences but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge but less judgement, more experts yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possesions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life but not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things but not better things.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of 2 incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, 1 night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheering, to quieting, to killing. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this poem to thousands, who in turn can simply decide to share it or just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember to say 'I love you' to your loved ones, but most of all- mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment, for someday that person will not be able to be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER
LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE- BUT BY THE NUMBER OF MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY!

runslikea_deere @ 2004-07-11T15:32:00

2004-07-11T19:39:47Z

Soo, yea, worked all freakin weekend. I feel like I live at ABC. BUUT...going down to the shore w/ Muffin will be fun!!!!! I can't wait...we can snuggle and kiss all week. I gotta do some laundry and pack for that. And go to church tonight. I hope I see the Savoys there. I wanna show Pat my license. Now we have to have license sex as well. Oh boy. Our sex bonanza is gonna be like 2 weeks straight. Better stop at Condom Kingdom.

I think I'm gonna create a new username. I have sinister_fuzz_x but I think I'll delete that and make a cooler one. No one will get the joke except Cooie. That's no fun. Maybe I'll make one that says jonas_stoltfus....teehee. Or not. No one will get that either. Better keep thinking.

Well, can't think of anything else to say...soo I'll just stop rambling.

ta ta for now!

uz ah no wut I'mz sain?

2004-07-08T16:03:44Z

Here's a convo me and Cooie had once I got to Dan's house. (He was online talking to her when I got there)

Spitfirelement87=Dan's sn (me talking)
Rocket Run 52=Cooie

Spitfirelement87: cooball?? where is ye?
rocket run 52: heah... where is ye?
Spitfirelement87: haha I rye heah
rocket run 52: haha, fo shizzle?
Spitfirelement87: what's fo sho?? you aint doin nuddin tonye?
rocket run 52: ah askd if youz was dere fo sho
Spitfirelement87: hahahha ::smoker's cackle::
rocket run 52: hahaha
Spitfirelement87: i rye heah nucka - don't gitcha pahnties ah up in a bunch
Spitfirelement87: nah,.... wut is youz doin dis fyine enin?
rocket run 52: heh.. ahs wuza thinkin uh doin de same ol thang ah did allz day... nunin..
Spitfirelement87: eljayin?
Spitfirelement87: howa bout nice lon' relazin' RUN?
Spitfirelement87: we's only gots 3 mile
rocket run 52: naw, didn doo mucha dat 2day... deres lota trafic an itz a rainin
rocket run 52: i kina wanna goes 2 da practiz at havufrd 2nite
rocket run 52: but ma don gots no CAR
Spitfirelement87: itz'a rainin???? wut betta tyme dan now dan ta go runin? it beez all nyce and chill...not heaty and humid
Spitfirelement87: too bad yo' momma gots no car - you on welfare or sumdin?
Spitfirelement87: you po'?
rocket run 52: dats de funnyest thang ah aherd all day!
Spitfirelement87: heh?
rocket run 52: 2 mucha traficz
Spitfirelement87: YEH i KNO I GOTZ DA LINEZ!
rocket run 52: girl, youz gots nuttn but uh tiny azz. shut yo mouf
Spitfirelement87: uz a babay??
rocket run 52: wha?
Spitfirelement87: so wutz? i gotz da milage and uz don'! heheheh
Spitfirelement87: iz ran more dan u!
rocket run 52: didz youz runz todaz
rocket run 52: huh?? didz yaz?
Spitfirelement87: yeh...
rocket run 52: uh huh, yeah rite
Spitfirelement87: soz?
rocket run 52: wutz de tyme uva dree mile runz at uh eazy paze?
rocket run 52: shizit.. stormza gettin worze

FREEDOM!

2004-07-08T14:41:48Z

Yea, so I haven't updated in awhile because I'm really lazy. I GOT MY LICENSE!!!! The test was SOO easy! It was nothing worht shitting myself over, like I did. Oh well. Before I even finished parallel parking, the lady (Linda) told me I was in. And then we went out onto the road for like .7 of a minute, and then she told me I passed WOO! I didn't get ANY points off! (baha - I'm better than my parents - they BOTH failed their first test.)My mom gave me a card after I passesd saying congratulations, and then I asked her what she would have done if I had failed, and she bought ANOTHER CARD saying that she was still proud of me, and tha tI did my best even if I failed. Haha. I chose to be an organ donor, but then I was talking to Dan and he told me that when the medics see that I'm and Organ Donor, they won't try as hard to save me. Hmm... I guess I'll just have to drive really safe and hope that no one stupid is near me.

Yea, so Dan was uber-excited to see me when I knocked on his door. I didn't tell him that I had made an appointment, and he never picked up that I kept talking about parallel parking and that I was really nervous and stuff. He's so great. He was going to do the same thing when he got his license...but then he didn't...and he was kiddingly mad that I hadn't told him and that I had lied to him about hacing a test date and whatnot.

I went over to Serena's house tuesday night and we watched Empire Recoreds, Office Space, and then Donnie Darko...AMAZING movie...EXTREMELY thought provoking!
We went to the pool yesterday morning and we sat out...I gots burned. I dind't out anything on....and my stomac and chest are really red bc they don't get ANY sun and they were really white. We were out there for like 2 hours...oops. I didn't turn over at all. I'm just a bit toasted...

(I know I'm kinda retrogressing, but I just wanna keep stuff up to date.)
July 4th...Dan came over and we went to Skippy's - it was cool, but I wanted to see fireworks, and we had to leave and go home by the time all of then were going on.
::sad face:: But then Dan sent me an E-card yesterday where you could make your own fireworks, which was nice. He's so good to me --->Lookie here!

I don't know what else to say...
Oh yea - one more thing! Sean - I'm so glad you had a good time in Florida - I missed your updates! You are such a great person! Call me! 610-613-3747 (this goes for anyone else as well...)

oooh.....a pirate's life for me, yo ho ho......

2004-06-27T17:24:40Z

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

summertime.....and the livin' is easy....

2004-06-27T04:19:23Z

Whoops...Haven't updated in awhile...and I'm feeling a little too lassie (I just watched Pirates of the Carribean) to write everything

-worked alot...money!
-got some new clothes...went shopping
-haven't run in like 5 days....bad libbi
-Dan came over - went to the mall, Wendy's...vacuumed my pool....then suggled...he was extra cuddly tonight...not quite sure why, but I was def enjoying it.

At the mall...made an idiot of myself in American Eagle...
oh well.

Woo...summer is nice. Everyone I work with are really nice (Including my boss(es)...very good thing.

carbohydrates=GOOD!

2004-06-23T14:03:24Z

Work was super-nifty! (Well, not nifty I guess, but good to say the least.) My shift manager, Rachel, is really cool. She's definitely a 21-yr-old kid. I get free food! At ABC (Atlanta Bread Company, clever, huh?) they always have fresh bread and stuff, so at the end of the night, anything that doesn't get sold, gets thrown out, OR I can TAKE IT!!! All for MEEEEE!!!! Oh Joy. I love food, and especially bread and whatnot, I'm def working at the right place. If anyone reading this needs criossants, rolls, bagels, muffins, pasteries or anythyng bakey related, lemme know - I'll grab some for ya! I'm still trying to get ahold of how to do everything, but I'm learning quickly. I work again tonight, same hours (3-9.30 [except it was really 10.15 bythe time I got out]) but Rachel isn't going to be there...it's her day off. This other girl Tristan will be...I hope she's nice and fun like Rachel. That made everything so much easier. But my legs aren't used to being stood on for that long. And there's no place to sit in the back. Boo.

Other than that, my life is boring. Oh yay.
I hope mi madre lets go down to the beach avec Dan and family....

survey...once again!

2004-06-22T04:19:49Z

Oh Man...another crazy survey....I need to stop looking at the latest Liveposts.

PAST
First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Palma
Last word you said: yea
Last song you sang: Love Her Madly, by the Doors
Last thing you laughed at: Dan reminding me of his retarded computer

PRESENT
What's in your cd player?: a good mix I took from Dan's friend Sean at Prom
What color socks are you wearing?: I'm not wearing any
What's under your bed?:alot of shoeboxes - some filled, some empty
What time did you wake up today? around 10

CURRENT
Current hair: dirty golden blonde, but with light brown roots - my natural hair is growing in
Current clothes: a track shirt and ae boxers
Current annoyance: itchiness
Current smell: nothing...just normal ol' air.
Current longing: a license to drive and money
Current desktop picture: a picture of a girl sunbathing on a street of NYC (I know, pretty random)
Current favorite music artist: I'm not really hooked on anyone at the current moment
Current book:eh...nothing at the moment either (damnnit I'm boring)
Current worry: Lauren Mazerazas (haha, phil)
Current hate: boredom
Story behind your screen-name: I like chocolate milk
Current favorite article of clothing: bikini tops (I wear them as bras, haha)
Favorite physical feature on a girl?: Well, since I'm heterosexual, I'll say that the thing I like most on guys is their smile and looks
Line from the last thing you wrote to someone: I can't remember
I am happiest when: I'm with Dan and everything in the world is right, even if it's for a second
I feel lonely: when I think about how everyone else's soph year rocked or was at least good, and mine stunk.
Favorite famous person you have met:I haven't met many famous people, but Kevin Bacon's a cool guy
Do you have any regrets?: yes
Sex or love: Love
Favorite coffee: Eh, I don't like coffee, but I'm really into Starbucks' Vanilla Creme
Favorite smell: Vanilla, those certain nights, woodburning stoves, dolce&Gabana cologne
What makes you mad?: liars, cheaters, people who think they're better than everyone else, society
Favorite way to waste time: The computer
What is your best quality?: how I'm open and caring(?)
Are in currently in love/lust?: Love
What's the craziest thing you have ever done?: I've had my episodes, probably streaking in the rain at jenny's house
Bad habits?: um, procrastination and laziness
Do you find it hard to trust people?: no - I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt
Last thing you bought yourself: a Dairy Queen strawberry sundae
Bath or shower?: Shower. Though a bath is lovely every once and awhile.
Favorite season: don't have one- all have their perks
Favorite color: red or orange or pink
Favorite time of day: when the sun is setting...
Gold or silver?: Silver
Secret Crush: N/A

FASHION
Do you wear a watch?: nah.
How big is your closet?: big enough
Ever spend more then $200 in a store?: not in one store
Do your friends know everything about you?: yea, for the most part.
What do they tend to be like?: My friends, are open, honest, caring, protective and loving. They also tend to be mostly guys.

LAST
Book you read: Prey, Michael Crichton
Movie you saw: A Mighty Wind on Cinemax
Movie you saw on the big screen: hmm...I think Miracle (It's been awhile)
Show you watched on TV: Can't remember
Thing you had to drink: kool-aid lemonade
Thing you ate: hot dogs and french fries at Dan's house
Time you showered: 2pm
Time you smiled: when Dan made me laugh
Time you laughed: see above
Person you hugged: Dan
Person you talked to online: can't remember
Person you talked to on the phone: Dan

Ooh! a Poem! But I think it's a story....another stolen Item...: D

When you’re a young child, the world is full of vivid colors,
and everything looks wonderful
You discover there are such things as candy and toys.
And as a little girl, you also realize that you don’t like boys,
Because they have the cooties.
Then you are around age eight when a boy sits beside you on the bus,
You smile at him; he sits there, wondering why he has never looked at a girl this way before.
Then thinks he had better snap out of it before he turns all mushy like his older brother.
You just smile because he seems so cute, blushing a little
Through a few years, you begin to realize the cooties aren’t so contagious after all,
And begin to play with the boys next door.
All of the sudden you are twelve; time snuck up on you,
And you begin to mature more.
You begin to notice boys in a different fashion,
You want them to look at you, and talk to you,
You try to get their attention and they are shy.
Then the day comes that you had hoped for;
The guy looks at you in the middle of class and smiles a little and says hi to you after class, in a low, small voice, divided from the noisy crowded hall.
You spend that Friday night with your best friends, up all night giggling about
How your crush looked at you and you practically melted right there.
You are now fifteen,
And it takes on a new meaning,
You have found your first love,
You think there is none like him.
You love to kiss him and pretend he will be yours forever.
You talk about him to all of your friends and spend hours getting ready to go on this ‘very important date’ time and time.
He breaks your heart and you cry and cry,
You think the world is ending and no one can fill his shoes; you are solemn in your world of regret and sorrow.
Later you find out you are over him.
You like to flirt with other guys, and you like it when they touch you and tell you you’re beautiful.
Suddenly, you find yourself at age twenty
Where have all those years gone?
You have kicked so many to the curb, is he the right one?
You are now in love and engaged,
You now know you must be fully committed; it is not like being thirteen and only wanting what you can’t have that sits on the other side of the room,
You have what you want, and you must love and cherish it forever
You are married in one year
Making love is what you never expected and you find yourself the happiest you have ever been
When you hear it will be a girl
You now experience the special bond and life that two people make together
You care for your marvelous creation, letting it go through what you experienced through ages five, seven, eleven, fifteen,
And soon she is grown and out on her own
And engaged to the love of her life
You are growing old with your spouse
Things aren’t as rosy and new as they were at age twenty, but you still love him just as much
You think back on your life, wonder where you would be today, if you two had not have met
And feel happy that you did
And now you realize
That throughout your whole entire life,
Everything was based on love
Love now has a brand new meaning, in that
It is what we base our lives upon
We experience it
learn to except it,
and sometimes we fear it
Over all, love is what controls us
And it is blind
Blind enough to reach out to anyone that will except and embrace it
Love isn’t just sitting beside a cute boy on the bus,
It isn’t just holding hands on the swings
Love isn’t a crush that fades away with time;
It is what gives us the strength to face tomorrow
What helps us to forgive when we think we can’t
It’s what helps us smile when we feel we can’t
It is what gives all it has for someone else’s happiness
Love is what we feel when we are weak at the knees and can’t speak
And all we know is that he or she is beautiful, inside and out
It’s when we surrender and give ourselves away
To someone who will return that gift
With they know in their heart it is right.

I wish I wrote this...but I didn't. It's cute anyway!

runslikea_deere @ 2004-06-20T19:39:00

2004-06-20T23:40:46Z

::sigh::

Oh yea - XC will be f*ing amazing this year!

runslikea_deere @ 2004-06-20T19:36:00

2004-06-20T23:39:39Z

Nothing is better than a good run. (To me, that is.)

Words cannot desribe.

sweet 16...

2004-06-20T03:38:14Z

This girl in my class, Danielle, had a surprise sweet 16 party. I got an invitation, and it kinda surprised me bc I didn't know that I was that close to her. But it was alot of fun. Some other girls from Carroll were there, and then her friend Leon, who goes to LaSalle, was a riot. What a character. It was like a family party with some friends. Really cool. And she got alot of really cool stuff. And the bruscetta was A-MAZING.

I feel like it's been summer forever! I asked Cooie if we finished school last week or this week. It's that bad. I'm already in carefree mode.

summer lovin'.....

2004-06-19T03:25:30Z

Dan left about half an hour ago. I can't believe I've liked him for about a year now...even though we only got together in October. Man, last summer was crazy. I was always flirtin' with him and dropping very LARGE innuendos that I liked him...and he (pretended) not to notice. And THEN he left for EUROPE for like 2 weeks and never even mentioned it to me. I noticed after awhile that he hadn't been on for quite some time, and then when he finally gets back on, I asked "So where've you been?" and he couldn't believe he never told me he was going away. I swore he fell off the face of the planet. Crazy. I could go on all day about all his/our silly mishaps, but I'll spare you.

He came over for dinner, since he can't cook for his life, and his family is down at the shore. We had salmon. Oh man it was good. And then we went down to the Casey's to see how Cooie was holding down the fort, after she called home to tell me about the shit-fest Ryan decided to have. Pooping everywhere and stepping in it and whatnot. Amanda def has a crush on Dan. Then we went to the mall and I had a BANNANA SPLIT! Oh boy...my favourite.

I got a job at Atlanta Bread Company. The girl Rachel, who was the shift manager, was super-nice, interviewed me, but it wasn't that formal. She told me that they would within a week, but if they didn't to call them. But then after I got home, not even 2 hours later, she called and asked if I still wanted the JOB! Of course I do! I need money desperately and their food looks SOO GOOD. All that bread and pasteries and soups. I'm gonna be fat. But the CARBS! A runner's heaven. Or just for someone who really likes bread and classical music.

I wish I could write poems and beautiful works like Sean. I have no creative writing skills. For me, a poem has to rhyme, or else it's not a poem ::sigh::

Wow this post was long. I think I elaborate on everything. Gotta but back on details.